Why My Why Changed
When I first started this adventure, my why was very simple.
When I first started this adventure, my why was very simple.
More time outdoors, more time to enjoy without obligation, more time with family and friends.
Who doesn’t want that?
Then disaster struck.
In late 2021, my aunt Kathy started having strokes.
My mom and my aunt have been living together and dependent on each other for a long time.
My mom had a brain aneurism when I was 15, and she is slightly mentally handicapped. Her short term memory doesn’t function well enough to handle a job, even though in many other respects, she is still totally there and able to converse.
My aunt had diabetes and was severely overweight.
Her strokes started out small, but we noticed something was wrong.
She would forget how to get home without her navigation, even from the grocery store. She would bring home groceries that she never purchased before, and not know what she wanted to do with them. These things were odd, but minor - we didn’t read them as signs of a real problem.
These behaviors came off as quirky, and odd, but not …what they were. Mini-strokes.
Then she forgot how to give herself insulin one day, and I knew something was terribly wrong.
It was 2 AM, and I called 911 immediately.
For the next several months, I was going back and forth to specialists with my aunt, who was no longer driving, and no longer mentally able to handle things as simple as grocery shopping.
I had to step up.
All of a sudden my weeks were loaded with appointments, I was the only one who could do it, and no other family lived near us.
If I still worked a 40 hour job, it would be very likely I could not help her, or I would loose my job for being absent so much.
My aunts life, literally depended on me not being tethered to a 9–5 job.
She was in full vascular dementia.
It was the most painful thing in the world to watch her go through.
I pray you and your loved ones never experience anything like it.
Wandering at night, never remembering to give herself insulin, being confused all day long, and the worst part — when she would forget that her mother passed away (my grandmother), and she would have to re-live remembering that her mom was gone, over and over. It broke my heart into pieces.
I caught her several times in the middle of the night, staying up without eating, and would have to check her blood sugar and respond.
There were many nights where I didn’t catch her time time, so we had to call 911 due to her being unresponsive.
If I had to wake up every weekday and commute to work, she would have likely died one of those nights, instead of being around for another 2 years to have the chance to say a long goodbye to our friends and family.
Being able to set my own hours, having no boss, and having 3–4 sources of income…. freed me from the stress of …. what could have been.
I was able to step up and really be there for family when they needed it, without the added stress of wondering if I will be fired and loose my primary income.
I realized we will never be LESS secure in our lives than when we depend on a single income stream.
Many people feel secure in their careers and jobs. I know I did.
But in hindsight, back when I had one primary source of income, being laid off was the most disruptive and scary experience I ever had.
I’m so glad that didn’t happen right in the middle of my aunts disaster.
I shudder to think it all might have transpired if I didn’t have ownership over my time.
Unfortunately, my aunt passed away earlier this year.
I miss her dearly.
Sometimes you don’t really know your entire WHY, until it strikes unexpectedly.
But being able to be there to help my Aunt, and now my mom, a huge reason for me now.
Thank you for reading!
Until next time….
Onward and Upward Everybody!
-Chris