Exploring Pair Bonding in Humans: The Case for Younger Monogamous Couples
The earlier you bond, the more likely you are to stay together.
The earlier you bond, the more likely you are to stay together.
Abstract
This research paper by a non-scientist who reads books and articles on the internet and doesn’t consider himself an expert in any way shape or form — contends that younger monogamous couples tend to have better and longer-lasting relationships and asserts that humans have an innate tendency towards pair bonding and a better relationship survival rate the fewer partners we have, and the earlier we get together.
In addition to exploring the biological and social foundations of pair bonding, this research also looks at how age at the beginning of monogamous relationships affects relationship duration and satisfaction.
I do this by drawing on concepts from evolutionary psychology, sociology, and psychological research, and good old anecdotal observation.
Introduction
Establishing a dedicated, exclusive relationship between two people is known as pair bonding, and it is a basic component of human social behavior. Even though there are many different kinds of relationships, monogamy is still common in most societies. This study suggests that people are inherently inclined to form close relationships, with younger monogamous couples showing clear benefits in terms of relationship longevity.
Pair Bonding’s Biological Foundation:
Evolutionary psychology provides a framework for understanding the biological roots of human behaviors and social patterns, including the formation of couple bonds. At its core, evolutionary psychology posits that human behaviors, emotions, and cognitive processes have been shaped by natural selection to increase the likelihood of reproductive success and the survival of offspring. When applied to couple bonding, evolutionary psychology suggests that the formation and maintenance of romantic relationships serve evolutionary purposes related to reproduction and the care of offspring.
One of the central tenets of evolutionary psychology regarding couple bonding is the significance of offspring survival and reproductive success. From an evolutionary perspective, individuals who formed strong, enduring bonds with a mate were more likely to successfully raise offspring to reproductive age. This is because cooperative mating strategies, such as pair bonding, allowed for increased investment in offspring care, protection, and provision. Consequently, individuals who formed stable pair bonds were more likely to pass on their genes to future generations, thereby perpetuating the traits associated with successful pair bonding.
Neurochemical mechanisms play a crucial role in facilitating attachment and bonding between romantic partners. Two key neurotransmitters involved in this process are vasopressin and oxytocin. Vasopressin is known for its role in regulating social behaviors and bonding in mammals.
In humans, variations in the vasopressin receptor gene have been linked to differences in relationship quality and attachment styles (Walum et al., 2008). Oxytocin, often referred to as the “love hormone” or “bonding hormone,” is associated with social bonding, trust, and intimacy. The release of oxytocin is triggered by various social stimuli, such as physical touch, eye contact, and emotional closeness. Studies have shown that oxytocin levels are at their highest during romantic interactions at younger ages, and play a key role in promoting feelings of attachment and relational stability (Carter, 1998).
Carter (1998) conducted research demonstrating that oxytocin promotes prosocial behaviors and facilitates bonding between individuals. The hormone is released during positive social interactions, such as hugging, kissing, and sexual activity, reinforcing feelings of closeness and trust. Additionally, Feldman (2012) explored the role of oxytocin in promoting parental bonding and found that elevated oxytocin levels are associated with increased caregiving behaviors and parent-infant attachment.
This might just make our younger years the ideal time to form a lasting pair bond.
Other factors influence this of course, this supposition assumes the attachment/relationship between the child and parent is not a toxic dynamic, and the parent is not acting within a set of trauma perpetuated behaviors that may interfere with the bonding / social development of their young.
In summary, understanding these biological mechanisms can provide a deeper appreciation of the complex dynamics underlying romantic relationships and the innate human drive to form enduring bonds with a mate.
Social Dynamics of Monogamous Relationships
The dynamics of monogamous partnerships are undeniably influenced by a complex interplay of social, cultural, and biological factors. While evolutionary psychology provides valuable insights into the biological underpinnings of human behavior, it is crucial to recognize the significant role that social and cultural circumstances play in shaping individuals’ attitudes towards partnership and commitment.
Cultural norms, societal expectations, and familial influences all contribute to shaping people’s perceptions and behaviors regarding relationships. In many societies, monogamy is not only encouraged but also considered the normative relationship structure. Cultural ideals surrounding marriage, fidelity, and commitment vary widely across different cultures and can exert significant pressure on individuals to conform to societal expectations regarding their romantic partnerships.
Familial expectations also play a substantial role in shaping individuals’ attitudes towards relationships. Family values, traditions, and beliefs regarding marriage and partnership are often passed down through generations and can deeply influence how individuals approach romantic relationships. For example, in cultures where arranged marriages are common, individuals may have limited autonomy in choosing their partners, while in cultures that emphasize individual choice and autonomy, individuals may have more agency in selecting their romantic partners.
Moreover, societal values and norms regarding gender roles, sexuality, and relationship dynamics can further influence the dynamics of monogamous partnerships. For instance, in societies with traditional gender roles, expectations regarding the division of labor, decision-making, and emotional expression within relationships may differ from those in more egalitarian societies.
Younger couples, in particular, may have more agency in shaping their relationships due to fewer external constraints and obligations. Unlike older couples who may have established careers, financial responsibilities, and family obligations, younger couples may have greater flexibility in defining the terms of their relationships and navigating relationship transitions. This increased agency allows younger couples to negotiate and establish relationship dynamics that align with their individual preferences, values, and goals.
Research by Amato (2000) and Cherlin (2009) underscores the significant impact of societal influences on relationship dynamics. Amato’s work on the consequences of divorce highlights how broader societal trends, such as changing attitudes towards marriage and divorce, can shape individual relationship experiences. Cherlin’s exploration of the state of marriage and family in America provides insights into how societal shifts, such as delayed marriage and increased cohabitation, influence relationship formation and stability.
In summary, while biological factors undoubtedly play a role in shaping human behavior, the dynamics of monogamous partnerships are equally influenced by social and cultural circumstances. Cultural norms, familial expectations, and societal values all contribute to shaping individuals’ attitudes towards partnership and commitment. Recognizing the multifaceted nature of these influences is essential for understanding the complexities of human relationships and fostering healthy, fulfilling partnerships.
Evidence of Longevity and Happiness Among Younger Monogamous Couples:
The assertion that younger monogamous couples tend to experience more meaningful and enduring relationships is supported by a body of research spanning several decades. This research consistently demonstrates that age at the onset of a relationship is a significant predictor of relationship stability, satisfaction, and overall quality.
Longitudinal studies, such as those conducted by Schoen and Weinick in 1993, have provided compelling evidence that relationships initiated at a younger age tend to be more stable over time. These studies tracked couples over extended periods and found that couples who formed relationships in their youth were less likely to divorce or separate compared to those who initiated relationships later in life. This pattern suggests that the foundation established in early adulthood may contribute to the resilience and longevity of the relationship.
Furthermore, relationship satisfaction surveys, such as those conducted by Dush and Amato in 2005, consistently reveal higher levels of happiness and intimacy among younger couples.
These surveys assess various aspects of relationship quality, including communication, emotional intimacy, and overall satisfaction. Younger couples consistently report greater levels of relationship satisfaction and fulfillment, indicating that relationships initiated at a younger age may be characterized by stronger emotional bonds and greater compatibility.
Several factors may contribute to the observed advantages of relationships initiated at a younger age. Firstly, younger couples may have greater flexibility and adaptability in navigating the challenges of a relationship.
With fewer external responsibilities and obligations, such as established careers or children, younger couples may have more time and energy to invest in their relationship, fostering a deeper connection and sense of intimacy.
Additionally, couples who form relationships in their youth may share formative experiences and developmental milestones, which can strengthen their bond and sense of shared identity. Growing and evolving together through early adulthood can create a strong sense of companionship and mutual support, enhancing the overall quality of the relationship.
Moreover, societal norms and expectations surrounding marriage and partnership may also influence the dynamics of relationships initiated at a younger age. In some cultures, there is a societal emphasis on early marriage and family formation, which may contribute to the stability and longevity of relationships formed in youth.
However, it is essential to acknowledge that individual circumstances and relationship dynamics vary widely, and not all relationships initiated at a younger age will necessarily be successful. Factors such as communication skills, conflict resolution strategies, and compatibility also play crucial roles in determining the quality and longevity of a relationship.
In conclusion, research consistently indicates that younger monogamous couples tend to experience more meaningful and long-lasting relationships compared to their older counterparts.
Longitudinal studies and relationship satisfaction surveys provide robust evidence supporting the advantages of relationships initiated at a younger age, including greater stability, happiness, and intimacy. Understanding these dynamics can inform efforts to promote healthy and fulfilling relationships across the lifespan.
Conclusion
In summary, it can be observed that individuals have an innate tendency to form bonds with one another, and younger monogamous couples tend to have longer and more fulfilling relationships. This essay emphasizes how complex human connections are, influenced by social and biological variables alike.
Understanding the positive aspects of younger monogamous couples can help us develop lasting, healthy relationships that last a lifetime.
Thank you for reading!
Until next time….
Onward and Upward Everybody!
-Chris
References:
Carter, C.S. (1998). Neuroendocrine perspectives on social attachment and love.
Feldman, R. (2012). Oxytocin and social affiliation in humans.
Cherlin, A.J. (2009). The Marriage-Go-Round: The State of Marriage and the Family in America Today.
Amato, P.R. (2000). The consequences of divorce for adults and children.
Schoen, R., & Weinick, R.M. (1993). Partner choice in marriages and cohabitations.
Dush, C.M.K., & Amato, P.R. (2005). Consequences of relationship status and quality for subjective well-being.
Walum, H., Westberg, L., Henningsson, S., Neiderhiser, J.M., Reiss, D., Igl, W., … & Lichtenstein, P. (2008). Genetic variation in the vasopressin receptor 1a gene (AVPR1A) associates with pair-bonding behavior in humans. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 105(37), 14153–14156.